we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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