You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
