how can u be prego again
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
You smell like stripper and shame
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
