I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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