Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
