What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
