My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
