We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
