Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
