so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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