just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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