Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
