Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
