I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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