i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
you will always have a special place in my vag
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Randomize
