i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
