So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
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