my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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