think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
