i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
