i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
