Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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