I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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