Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
