So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
