who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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