Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Even my vagina gasped.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Randomize
