the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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