My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
