they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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