she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
