Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
