dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
