i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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