I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize
