My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
