i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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