he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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