How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
