Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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