ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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