The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
