Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
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