Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
