Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize