shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
