It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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