we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
