oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
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