I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
