Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
And then the night went full on bisexual.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
last night I used snow as a chaser
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
