I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
