I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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