I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Lo siento on account of my penis...
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
