Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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