for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
