Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
