OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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