The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Randomize
