2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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