Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize