I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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