guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize