Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
