nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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