every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
