If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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