closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
