We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize