did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
