my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
i dont even know how to be here
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
