What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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