I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
