i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Randomize
