hotel room ftw
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
