OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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