They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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